A Wave Within A Wave ....

.... is a bit of what I've been experiencing.
Not a huge wave, thank goodness.
But an unexpected one, none-the-less.

Son #1 called me.  He just found out that it's nearly time for the round of interviews for accounting internships.  He missed out on all of the info while he was in Spain.  It would seem that students who study abroad aren't considered worthy of getting important information that they might need for their ...... oh, I guess one could say ..... for their future.
Any-whoooo ..... he is interviewing with all of the top accounting firms in Dallas.  This is good news.  This is not surprising news.  Not really.  This is, however, unexpected news.  I didn't see it coming.  I probably should have, but I'm not the kind of parent who checks up on her kids every week meddles in the lives of her children.
So yes, he is going to interview with Jim's firm.
And that is a wave.
Hearing the names of those companies was a wave within that wave.  Knowing that he might be interviewing with someone who knew Jim was another wave within those waves.  Jim was more than a partner with his firm.  He was the head partner of the energy division for this half of the country (as you can tell, I don't know what his exact title was .... but he was known).  He was a great accountant.  He was a terrific business man.  I still hear once in a while that he is still missed.  Which, by the way, is hugely comforting to hear.  Just in case you ..... you know ..... wondered.
But then another wave came sneaking up behind those waves.  This wave was the possibility that the people who interview Son #1 will never have heard of Jim.  And that, my friends, brings tears.  Yes, it was over 3 years ago.  But most days, in my mind, it was the last time I blinked.
It will always seem like the last breath I took and yet ...... a million years ago ..... all at the same time.

In some ways .... most ways really ..... I'm thankful that it wasn't just a few minutes ago.  I know, with every fiber of my being, that I could not live through that again.  Not that.  Not his death.
No.
Way.
In.
Hell.

But in other ways .... it's sad that it wasn't just a few minutes ago.  Because then I'd still smell him in our bedroom.  I'd still have his stuff sitting around.  His clothes would still be hanging in the closet.
And I would be in such total shock that I'd have no memory of most of the approaching weeks.

But, there ya go.
It wasn't yesterday.

So ..... Son #1 is going to interview with this firm.  With someone who may, or may not, have known Jim.
Jim did these college interviews.  Until the day he died.
Most partners don't do them.  Sometimes I was resentful of his time away from home interviewing college kids.  I thought that someone younger, someone closer to their age, should be talking to them.  But he enjoyed it.
Very much.
And he was very good at it.
Shocking, I know (for those of you who don't really know me .... yet ..... those three words are dripping with sarcasm.  Shocking, isn't it?).  :)

Son #1 is excited about these interviews.  I'm excited for him.
Kind of.
When the waves aren't crashing around me.

He is SO his father's son.
You know the saying, "The apple didn't fall far from the tree?"
Well, this apple just rolled off of the branch, down the tree trunk and sat on a root.
Really.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Even when I'm struggling to stay on my feet amidst the waves.
It's been a wavy week.
A week of challenges and of growing.
Lots and lots of growing.
More on that later.

Happy Thursday, Peeps.
I haven't said it in a while, but thanks for being here.
:)