Again.
I thought I was prepared for this change.
I know it's a good thing.
I know that it's the very best thing to happen now.
But still .....
I don't really think I've sat down and given this change a lot of thought.
I just brush it aside as I go through my day and don't think about it much.
Until now.
Now .... because it's happening.
Or at least, beginning to happen.
And, when I've mentioned it lately to inquiring people, their reactions have made me stop .... and think.
And .... wonder if I'm really ready to live this change.
Son #2 is going into the Marines.
No great surprise .... he's wanted to do this since he was 6 or so.
I've "known" he would do this since he was 3.
Really.
So I haven't really questioned it, or thought about it.
Until now.
Because .... he goes and takes the military test tomorrow.
And gets his physical and his interviews done on Thursday morning.
And ..... unless something unexpected happens (which everyone in this family knows can certainly happen) ..... he'll be sworn in Thursday afternoon.
And I think .... now that I'm starting to give it some thought .... that I may just lose it when that happens.
Yes.
It's quite possible.
My heart speeds up and my eyes start burning by just typing the words.
He may go off to boot camp at the first of July.
Or in June.
Or in August.
For 3 months.
And then ....
"Then" is what I don't want to think about.
So, I don't.
You may call me Scarlet, if you wish.
5 comments:
Janine - you are one special woman. I admire you and your raw honesty and your loving heart from many many miles away. Thank you for being you. I feel blessed to know you. Linda Clark Pulver
God will give you the grace you need for every step ahead. You know that. I have to tell myself this as my grown children start to make decisions that tempt me to fear the future.
BTW, I'm here from A-Z Challenge. I like the way you write. And may I say, I'm so sorry for your loss. I get a lump in my throat reading that you lost your husband after 27 years. We have been married 24 and I can't "go there" mentally, so I don't.
I have such fond memories of P. at care group and of Susan making it her mission to hold him/comfort him (ie. give you a little break). What a man he has become. Janine, you are the perfect woman to be the mom of a service-man. A tough road for sure. P. will make you proud with his dedication. I can see it in his photos. Jim must be so proud as well.
by the way....
Picture #2 is the definition of "BLISS".
How great to have that.
Love that kid.......errr.......man. He will make a great Marine. We need to throw him a whoppin' party! love,K
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