Silent-ish Saturday

So today was a quiet day.

So quiet that I haven't gotten out of my p.j.s and it's now 9:38 p.m.

Daughter #3 went back "home" this morning. I miss her (and D#2) very much.

The rest of the kids and I stayed home today ..... just relaxing and hanging out around here.

Almost 4 tear-less days ..... if you don't count the tears that came with the visit with the therapist, which I don't count.

That was a very good visit. I like her very much. I always have.

And she validated me so much yesterday that I felt so much better than I had in a long time.

She sees how much I've "healed", and yet how much I have ahead of me.

She loves the relationship I have with A & M ..... so much so that she said that they are very blessed to be doing this with me ...... as I am to be doing this with them. She was surprised, because of how rare it is, but very, very pleased with it ...... and said that of course more widows should have relationships like this. More widows should feel the security and protection that I feel in this relationship. In fact, she had worried about me not feeling protected the last time we met. But she's amazed by what the 3 of us have (and our children) and how wonderful it is.

She also validated the other changes in my life over the past few weeks .... and how good it is for me to move forward.

So, needless, to say, I felt very validated after my visit with her .... and look forward to seeing her again.

I also started reading the book "Boundaries" today, because I'm going to be co-leading it as a Bible study this Fall at church.

It. Is. Amazing.

I've heard a lot about this book over the last several years ... and know the theme of it, but every single page spoke directly to me today ..... and to the choices that I've made over the past couple of weeks.

And to the guilt I've felt over my past when I feel like I'm not pleasing people.

And to the growth I've felt over getting past that guilt.

I'm done with guilt .... I hope.

One day at a time.

I'm working on it it.

My Mom and D came into town yesterday and met the kids and me for a movie. It was a pretty long movie and by the time it was over the kids and I had to get back for evening plans that I had made.

The "before me" would have felt tons of guilt for not getting to spend more time with Mom and D ..... not because of anything they said or did, but just because of me and my expectations. I know she wouldn't want me to feel guilt over her. But I would've.

Yesterday, however, I worked really hard at not feeling that .... and knowing that I had done what I could do with my time that day. And while I wished we had more time, as did my mom, we'll just take whatever time we can get, when we get it. One day at a time.

Thankfully I have a mom who gets that and wants only the best for me. And is very patient and understanding with the changes in my life.

I love her .... a lot.

Daughter #1 and I have been hanging out, watching DVD's and drinking champagne this evening. No, we didn't have anything specific to celebrate, but thought, "What the heck?!" And so we celebrated the two of us .... watching a DVD, or 4.

So it's been a quiet-ish day.

Which I'm perfectly fine with.

That's it for now, my Peeps. Again, not so very interesting .... but sometimes that's a good thing.

I need more "dull" moments.