Time With My Kids ....

.... is very limited now.

Daughter #2 and Son #1 have been home this week and it's so very nice to have them here.

Actually, Daughter #2 has only been home for 2 days .... and she leaves tomorrow for the summer.

Or .... for a very long time.

She's waiting to get the final word from the Peace Corps telling her that she will be heading to Africa in August for 2 years.

Sigh.

She and Son #1 are both working at camp again this summer so I won't see very much of them.

Life moves forward.

Daughter #1 called today with some very exciting news. She was offered a fellowship with a theatre in Baltimore today. It was a great offer and they really want her to accept it. She has a few more interviews with other theatres around the country, but I think she's leaning towards this one.

It was great to hear the excitement in her voice. I'm so proud of her and how hard she's worked for this.

Jim would be very proud, too.

Actually, I think he IS proud.

Of all of the kids and how they've done in the last 2 and a half years.

Mostly.

School is almost over.

And summer will fly by.

And before I know it .... I will be at 3 years.

Part of me is stunned that I've made it this far.

Part of me still cannot believe that Jim doesn't walk through the door each day at 6:30.

Yes, even after this much time has passed I still find myself not believing all of this.

Still.

Sigh.

Part of me accepts it now and is enjoying my life again.

Very much.

Part of me is trying to ignore the fact that the 28th of this month would have been our 27th wedding anniversary.

sigh.

double sigh.

I miss him.

Every day.

Every damn day.

Some more than others.

But still .... every day.

Yet .... I am moving forward .... while missing him.

I have found that I can do both.

And that's ok.

Actually .... it's better than ok.

Finally.

I am blessed.

Still.

I am loved.

Still.

I am living.

Again.

Not the way I imagined.

But still ......

I am living.

And that's huge.

Trust me.

As someone who spent a lot of time not wanting to live ..... I know how huge this is.

Thanks, Peeps.

For being here.

Still.

And have a great weekend.

:)