Ask Me Wednesday

---- I'm actually rolling up my sleeves as I start to type this!

OK --- and here we go:

anonymous said...
Are all your children coming home for Thanksgiving? Including daughter #1? What will you prepare in your new kitchen? What are you thankful for?

Wow, anon .... you ask a lot of questions!  :)

Yes, all of the kids are coming home .... yay!  Son #2 comes home in 2 days.  Son #1 and Daughters #2 & #3 come home on Tuesday and Daughter #1 comes home on Wednesday.  Thanksgiving day is her birthday so we will have an extra reason to enjoy being together.

As for what I will prepare ...... I have ordered a deep-fried canjun turkey (can't wait!) so we will do the sides.  My mom will make her delicious pies.  I will be doing mashed potatoes, a wonderful green bean recipe Daughter #1 and I made last year, stuffing ...... that should do it.  Oh, and the traditional Mac & Cheese.  Traditional for my family anyway.

And what am I thankful for?

Oh, so many things.  For my God.  For my children, my family, my friends, our health.

And for having had Jim for almost 27 years.  And all that that entails.

monike said...

HAHA! I knew I was going to love C from the moment I saw him for a reason. That's something more diabolical than I could have ever thought of, but you have to give him credit.

PS. Is K closest to you and L on her left in the picture? I am trying to hone my twin-telling-apart skills.

PPS. Judging by your current appearance and the picture of you that you have there, here's to praying that I age as well as you do. What a hottie! :)

First I have to tell everyone that Monike is my daughters' room mate, so she's a bit biased.  And I also call her Daughter #4.  And she can't see all that well.

Anyway, yes, Daughter #2 is closest to me.  Good twin-telling-apart skills!!!!  Kudos, Daughter #4!

My Mom asks:
Do you need any moral support on Friday?  Let us know if you do.  We'll be glad to come in.

I will need all of the moral support I can get, but don't worry about coming down.  Maybe we'll have some good bonding time.  Here's hoping anyway.

And thank you.

nat said...
My question for this Wednesday is pretty deep. I liked what you had to say in an earlier post about "The Shack" and your closeness to God at this point in your life and your words really touched me. You spoke about being with God all day long and feeling his presence in your life daily and throughout your day. I have always had a tough time with my prayer life. I can do devotions and read the Bible and gain more knowledge from these things but when it comes to prayer, mine always seem very repetitive. We pray as a family before our meals and when I pray on my own I seem to ask God for healing and comfort for other people and thank him for all that he blesses me with but I feel I need to pray on a much deeper level. Thoughts? You said to dig deep-is this deep enough?

OK, Nat .... I'm rolling up my sleeves again!  

     I think that we often times make our relationship with God too difficult.  

We do.  

He doesn't.

     We have certain expectations of what our prayer life and quiet time should "look like". 

 We do.

He doesn't.

     My expectations "before" were very different.  In every aspect of my life, but especially this one.

Jim's death changed my entire life.  All of it.  Every corner.

I would like to think it could've changed without that, but I don't know.  And it doesn't do any good to think about it.

But I hope that it doesn't take anything as drastic as that for those I love.

     The main difference in my relationship with God/Christ is that those expectations are gone.

I don't think I have to sit down with my Bible for a certain amount of time.  I don't think I have to sit and pray a certain way.

But mostly, I don't beat myself up anymore for not meeting my expectations.  

Mine.  

Not His.

     I talk to Him all day.  I don't pray "formally" .... unless before a meal, really or with a group of people.  But I talk to Him throughout the day .... as if He were standing next to me.  

And He is.  

     I talk to Him as I would a friend who is standing next to me.  I talked to Him today while having my teeth cleaned!  I talk to Him in the car.  I talk to Him while I'm getting ready in the mornings.  I just talk.

     I don't sit down every day and have my "devotion/quiet time".  And guess what?  He's great with that.  

And now, so am I.

So I guess my thoughts for you are, "Maybe you're looking too deep.  Maybe you should try just having a conversation with Him.  OK, this will sound really stupid and not very "religious", but it's kind of like the way you should talk to someone who's in a coma.  Stop laughing.  Really.  You should talk to them, a lot.  Tell them about your day, what's going on around them, what you think about things, etc.  Right?  It's like a one-sided conversation.  But the other person/God can hear you.  You just can't hear what He is thinking.  So you just talk."

There.  Those are my thoughts.

I hope I was able to explain it a bit clearer than I think I did!

anonymous said...
Did you ever want to tell your kids "That's it. Nobody is going to do anything but school. I'm tired of spending all evening as a taxi driver"? My kids only do one activity each and I'm driving 6 days a week.

Oh my goodness, YES!!  In fact, I did do that one year.  We were about 3 months into the school year and I was in the car every day.  I wasn't getting home in time to get a good dinner on the table.  I was headed for a nervous breakdown.  Seriously.  So I finally told Jim that I couldn't do it any more.  I was not the "supermom" that I wanted to be.  I felt like a failure.  He was behind me all the way.  He had seen how much stress I was under (as well as the lack of dinner!).  He knew that I wasn't a failure but that our schedule was just too much.

The hardest job was telling the kids.  I cried.  I told them that I was sorry but I just couldn't do it anymore.  And that it wasn't fair to them that were 6 of them, but that's the way it was.

They were wonderful.  Kids usually are when you're up front with them.  So we pared down the activities .... by a lot.  

And I did not have a nervous breakdown.

Not then anyway.

Good luck!

your sister said...
Ok, my questions for you is really coming from Kristine. Taylor is wantiing to wear make-up and I told her that she had to wait unitl she was 12 but only then could she wear light eye make-up and a little mascara but very light. I think Kris disagrees with me on this. What are your thoughts and when did you start letting my lovely nieces start wearing make-up??? Love you!

Well, my darling sister, the girls started wearing makeup when they went into middle school, 6th grade.  And it was also light.  I think it's still pretty light, but then, so is mine.

I think a lot of girls start in 4th or 5th, but we didn't.  They need to be little girls for a bit longer than our society thinks, in my opinion.

Anonymous said...
help! how do I help my children become responsible spenders???My son (whom I love, but not so much today) just spent his book fair money on a book on how to cheat on electronic games (gameboy, psp, etc.), none of which he owns because "someday I might" ...meanwhile he's been trying to save up to buy himself a nintendo ds but now has that much less money to make the purchase. I'm trying to let them have freedom to spend their money however they want, but am totally frustrated with their choices. susan

Oh, Susan, I wish I had the magic answer for this.  I have a few children who will hold on to their money until the day they die and it has to pried out of their hands.  Then I have a few who will spend it as soon as they have it.  There is no magic pill or answer for this question.  Either they are savers or they aren't.  And M probably isn't.  I am guessing that my "spenders" will discover, once they are on their own, that Jim and I really knew what we were talking about.  If not, they will be in debt and will have to figure it out.  

I try not to control their spending, so I think you're doing well on this part.  All you can do is remind them why they are saving their money, and bemoan with them when they can't buy what they want because they spent part of it earlier.  

Sometimes it helps if they have a sibling who doesn't do this and so can save up to buy something really great.  Is B like that?

All you can do is remind them that they want to save up to get "whatever" .... if they choose to buy some little crappy thing, then the consequence is that they can't buy the bigger "whatever".  I firmly believe in consequences, and will not bail them out to accomplish their goal.  

Stay strong.  You're doing the right thing, even if M isn't learning the lesson .... yet.  Be prepared that this may be a life-long lesson for him.  Just keep doing what you're doing.  

Melanie asked me about Gabby's leg:

She seems to be doing a bit better.  She's not limping as much, though it's still there.  So I hope that whatever it is it's now healing.  And thanks for the positive words about getting two.  I keep going back and forth and wonder if I can handle it.  I think Gabby definitely needs a playmate and I certainly love her temperament and how good she is.  I wonder if 2 will be too much for me.  

Oh well, at least I have a little time to decide!  Good luck on getting A to agree to another one!  I'm glad that Huck is doing so well!!

OK, I think that's it for the Q & A.  Kudos to all of you who put forth such good questions.  I am enjoying the "Ask Me Wednesdays".  I hope you are, too.

Until tomorrow .......