Hanging At The Lake ...

.... with Son #3, my wonderful-long-time-friend, V and her son G.  A time to relax.  For me.  For V.  For G.  And for Son #3.
Hopefully Son #2 will be joining us soon.

Today the boys went out on the boat .... and had fun.  Then G went out on a jet ski for a while.  Then he returned to pick up V and take her out.
A good day was had by all.
In spite of a pot of boiling pasta .... left to boil.  Forgotten.
And when remembered .... void of water.

It is the lake.
And we are flexible.
And relaxed.
So .... who cares?

So we started all over.
And the second batch of pasta?
Came out fine.

And the relaxing continued.
And I had, what may be, my last glass of wine for a very long time.

Tomorrow, or rather .... today, since it's 1:30 a.m., I start a new med.
Tomorrow night.
One hour before dinner.
To be exact.

An RA med, that ... in larger doses ... is a chemo treatment for cancer patients.
I was told to expect nausea, vomiting, sores in my mouth .... and a general not-feeling-so-hot experience.
I.
Am.
Beyond.
Thrilled.

Way beyond.

But .... I am hopeful.
(My word for the year.)
I hope that my body accepts this drug easier than we think it will.
I hope that the nausea isn't as bad as it could be.
I hope that I don't spend the following few days feeling miserable, and not able to be more than 5 feet away from a toilet.
I hope that my body will adjust to this drug easily and quickly.
I hope that my hair does not start falling out.
I hope, that in spite of all the "what-ifs", this medicine helps the pain I am currently feeling to go away.
And to stay away.

I tried a "more natural approach".  And I hoped that it would work.  And that I would notice a difference.
I did not.
Bummer.
So .... I admitted defeat.  I got off of the river of Denial, and I went back to the doctor.
Who said that it appears that I am one of the very-so-rare-humans who is "zero positive RA".  Meaning that non of my clinical tests, blood & x-rays, show that I have RA.  But clinically, I present as having RA.
And, after being treated with steroids, I do indeed have some sort of inflammatory disease.  That, after a week of being on steroids, seemed to have disappeared.  Completely.
And once the steroids were taken away, reappeared within 48 hours.  And, for over a week I lived with the pain, thinking that it was "do-able".  That pain .... I could live with.
And then the next week came .... and with it came a new level of pain.
And I knew, that I could not live with that.
And it grew worse, day by day.
And so I gave in.
I threw in the towel.
I admitted what I did not want to admit.
I let go of the hope that the pain I had experienced in May, and June, was just a fluke.  I let go of the hope that I would not feel that pain again.
And I called the doctor.

And so I start this new med tomorrow.
Why tomorrow?
Because he would rather I (and all patients) start it on a Sunday night, so that if I experience serious side effects, I can see him on Monday .... rather than go to an ER on Saturday.
Wow.

So I am hoping .... and praying.
And we all know (or hopefully know .... go back to Dec. 18, 2007 if you don't know) my thoughts on prayer.
And yet .... I pray.
And hope.

And ask you to hope with me.
And pray for me.
In spite of ..... well, you know.
Just .... in spite of.

Thanks, Peeps.
And Happy Sunday.
:)