"I'm Gonna Kick His Ask" ....

.... and for those of you who have no idea where that comes from, I have included one of my favorite YouTube videos.
You're welcome.



Now that you have watched the above video, you understand where that line came from.

You do not, however, understand why I am using it.
Yet.

That's the line that's been running through my head for most of the month of September.
Well, except that you'd have to take out the k and add another s.
But other than that, it's the identical line.

And who's ask, you might be pondering, am I going to kick?
C'mon.
Really?
Three guesses and the first two don't count.

Never mind.
Some of you are just very bad guessers.

Jim.
Jim's ask is going to be kicked from one end of Heaven to the other.
Yes, I realize that there's no sadness in Heaven.
Not a problem.
I won't be sad.
And Jim won't either.
Just maybe a tad bit scared.
As he should be.

He's a very smart man.
Always has been.
Smart, that is.
He hasn't always been a man.
I mean, many people (including moi) have said that he was born 40, but that's really just a figure of speech.
He was really born as a baby.
No.  Really.
I've seen pictures.

So, now that we've cleared that up .... smart.
Very smart.
And a lot of common sense.
So there's no way in hell, oops .... I mean, Heaven, that he's not up there, knowing what has got to be going on down here:  the longer I am down here (Earth, people .... c'mon, keep up!) without him, having to deal with the crapola (to put it nicely; incredibly, Shirley Temple-ish nicely) with which he, as a very smart man.... and father of 6 .... 3 girls, THREE BOYS (but really, who's counting?) .... left me to deal with ....
the more incredibly p***** off I am going to be when I finally get there.

I imagine he's trying to do a lot of bargaining with God ..... to, you know, either get me up there sooner, rather than later ..... or to make sure his mansion has round-the-clock armed guards.
Oh for goodness sake ..... YES I realize that there's no such thing in Heaven!!  EVERYONE knows that God doesn't keep time, so "round-the-clock" really wouldn't apply.
Sheesh.  I'm not a moron.

What?
Everyone also knows that Texas is like Heaven so don't even think I'm wrong on the armed-guard thing.
Whatever.

I really wish you Peeps would stop interrupting me .... it's getting very annoying.
Not to mention difficult to remember where I was in this post composition.
I'm sleep-deprived, remember?!
Stop judging!!!

Let's see ...... oh, yeah .... me,  p***** off.
Him,  hiding out.

Because here's what he's picturing will happen on JH Day.
WHAT NOW???
Seriously?
Janine's in Heaven Day.
(I can't believe there are so many remedial Peeps.)
Sigh .....

Me:  (arriving in Heaven and bursting through those pearly whites gates) .... "Hi, hello, hi there, oh yes, hi, Grandma .... I'll be right back, I promise .... by the way, have you seen Jim?  Not lately?  OK, thanks.

Oh, hi .... yes, it's nice to see you, too (wondering what her name is, dang-it ..... wait, can I say dang-it in Heaven?  Crap, I just said it twice!) .... OK, people, it's nice to see all of you and thank you SO much for the enthusiastic welcome, but I just need to push past all of you for just a bit.  Sorry, oh .... didn't mean to elbow you there.  Truly.  I'm just on a .... you know .... mission.

What?  Who?  Where?!  Oh ..... oh, ummmm, hi there, Jesus.  Can you please wait a sec?  I'll be right with you. By the way, have you seen Jim?  Really?!  Armed-guards?  I KNEW IT!!"

Jim: not saying anything .... just quaking in his boots sandals.  And praying that those armed guards realize that I'm most likely packin'.

What?  It could happen!

Happy Friday, Peeps.

:)