I had a wonderful, peaceful weekend at the lake.
It was just right.
I am so thankful that I have that quiet, peaceful place to escape to.
I am blessed and I am very aware of it. I don't take it for granted.
I take very few of my blessings for granted.
Thankfully, I always knew that Jim was the biggest blessing in my life .... and I never, ever took that for granted.
The house is quiet tonight.
Son #3 was at a retreat all weekend with a church group that he loves to be with.
He was asleep when I got home from the lake, around 5:30.
It's now 10:00 p.m. and he's still asleep.
I'm assuming that means he did not sleep this weekend.
Which probably means he had a great time.
:)
Son #2 was here when I got home, with his girlfriend and her little sister.
He had to finish cleaning the dishes so that he could leave.
He was supposed to have them done before I got home.
Girlfriends.
Sigh.
He must've been pretty entertaining while he was unloading and then loading the dishwasher.
The two of them sat nearby and couldn't seem to take their eyes off of him.
Really.
Ah, young love.
I'm thankful for my children .... for each one of them.
Even during the difficult times.
Sometimes .... especially during the difficult times.
I remember reading an article by Ann Landers (Dear Abby's sister) in the paper many, many years ago.
Jim and I were married, but we did not have children .... yet.
It seems that Ms. Landers took a poll of her readers and asked them this question:
"If you were able to live your life over again, would you still decide to have your children?"
I was stunned to read the answer.
It was an overwhelming, "No."
The majority of the people (mostly women) who wrote in said that they wished they'd never had their children and would not do it all over again.
I think that may have been the first time I really thought about our assumption that we'd have children.
That article bothered me a lot and has stayed with me to this day. I wondered if all of the moms I knew then would've answered the same way.
I wondered if my own mother would've answered the same way.
I wondered if I would answer the same way .... years down the road.
It was beyond my comprehension that a woman could have a child and then wish that he/she had never been born.
Of course, I was only 23 at the time so a lot of things were beyond my comprehension.
Thankfully.
I love my children.
I don't regret having them.
Any of them.
Now I'd be lying if I said I've never thought differently, because I have.
But that's just what it was .... a thought.
A thought during a tough time.
A thought ensnared by overwhelming emotion.
A thought.
One that came into my head.
And then left.
And I believe that any mother who denies ever having had one of those "thoughts", is wearing a very large, very heavy and sometimes very painful mask.
Raising a child in the way that he/she should go .... is the hardest thing I've ever done, aside from grieving Jim's death.
#1: Jim's death
#2 - #7: Raising our children.
But in raising them, they have also raised me.
In teaching them, they have taught me.
And as I have made mistakes, they, and God, have taught me humility.
And I am so thankful for that teaching.
We are not a perfect family.
We never were.
We never will be.
And that's a relief.
Because how incredibly boring would perfection be .... after a couple of days?
But we are family, and we're all ours.
And for that .... I am thankful.
Jim's quiver was/is full.
My heart is full.
Of way too many blessings to count.
And of 6 amazing blessings .... who count very much.
Count your blessings, Peeps.
And Happy Tuesday.
:)
"Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are children born in one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their opponents in court."
Psalms 127:4-5
