In Other Words ......

...... there are so many "other words".

I just didn't feel "done" with the last post.  I really wanted to wrap it up succinctly, but I also had a few more things to offer.

So much for succinctly.

So here's what I have to say about what friends can do for a friend in grief.

I'm going to divide it into different time frames.

First ...... immediately upon hearing about the death:

Go to your friend's house.
Take several friends with you.
Answer her/his phone.  Take messages.
Call her/his family/friends to deliver the news.  No, no one wants to do that, but good friends will.
Mine did.
Get food.  Accept food that's brought.  Stock up on paper goods like paper towels, napkins, toilet paper, paper plates, plastic cups, plastic silverware.  It will be needed.

Go through all of her/his photos and find some to copy and use at the funeral/memorial service.  A very good friend of mine did this with Son #1.  She made several posters with pictures of Jim, us, our family that covered our family over the years.  Son #1 made a slide show for the service that is still on line to this day.
This friend also set out several framed photos of Jim from different times in his life.  Thankfully, we've always taken a lot of pictures.
(Which is one piece of advice I'd give you now ...... before you get to this point.  Take pictures.  Lots of pictures.  All of the time.  And make sure that you, the picture-taker, are not always the picture-taker.  Be sure that you're in pictures, too.)

One friend took care of all things medical.  We had a lot of those things since we weren't sure why Jim died of what he died from ...... and were told that my children would have to be scanned for the rest of their lives, to make sure they didn't die from the same thing.  So my friend (who was a nurse, which helped) took care of all of that.
And she did a fabulous job.

Friends drove me wherever I needed to go.  For a few weeks.  Whether it was to the funeral home (never let them go to the funeral home alone), the attorney's office, the bank,  the funeral of one our district's high school principals (who died the day before Jim did) ...... I always had a ride.

Friends took turns staying with me.  At night.  And overnight.
I have no memory of how many of my friends spent the night with me, in my bed, but I know that they did.  And I can't thank them enough.
As days turned into weeks, they took turns coming over in the evenings, to just be with me.  They stopped spending the night, which was how it should've been, but they stayed until I was ready to fall asleep.
And I loved/love them for that.

Friends took care of all of the plants/flowers that were sent.  I couldn't take care of myself, let alone a bunch of potted plants.  I tried it for a week, but then felt totally overwhelmed by the sight of them.  So I called my friends and had them come and take them out of my house.
They planted some in my yard, which was nice.

As time went on, friends still took turns coming over.  Friends still took turns providing meals.  Friends took turns taking my children anywhere they needed to be, or keeping them busy.

Some friends wrote thank you notes.  I did not.  And that's the number one piece of advice that I can give:  make sure that your newly-widowed friend doesn't feel the need to write thank you notes.  I think that's the most barbaric practice that we, as Americans, have.  Who sends flowers/a plant because of a death, and then expects a thank you note?  If anyone does, tough crap.  You don't deserve a thank you note because you didn't send the gift for the right reason.  It's horrific to have to write someone and say "thank you for sending flowers/providing a meal because my husband died".  I have been/and am horrified when I've received such a thank you note.  I didn't send flowers/provide a meal with the intent of receiving a thank you note.  And I don't want the grieving person to even think about sending me a note.  The thought of that makes me nausous.

So those are the things the came to my mind.
The things that friends can do.

The biggest thing you can do is to just be there.
That's it.
It's simple.

Be with her/him.
Sit with her/him.
Follow their lead.
Watch TV with them, if that's what they want.
Bring funny movies/TV shows.  I needed to have my mind preoccupied and I needed to laugh.

Sit with them in silence, if that's how they sit.
Sit with them in tears, if that's how they sit.
Sit and listen, if they talk.
Sit and talk, if they listen.

Follow their lead.
But just be there.
For as long as you can.

That's what they'll remember.
That you were there.
And you kept them from being alone.
For as long as you could.

And that, my friends, is huge.

Thanks for reading, Peeps.
And Happy Tuesday/Wednesday.

I'm heading to S. Carolina bright and early tomorrow morning.
It's time for Camp Widow East.

I can hardly wait.
: )

It Wasn't Just My Life ......

                                                                     Source

(This post is dedicated to my friends.  Our friends.  His friends.  To all of those who knew Jim ...... and who still feel the hole he left.  But especially to all of those who were there.  Who did what they could. For as long as they could.  Even those who are no longer here.  I will never forget the love, compassion ...... and grief that you showed.  Nor will I ever be able to thank you enough.  I can only tell you that I saw.  And I know.
You were there.)

...... and the lives of my children that changed when Jim died.
His death affected more than our families and closest friends.

It affected everyone who knew him ...... everyone who knew me ...... and everyone who knew us.

It's difficult, if not impossible, to see that when you're in the midst of the deepest, darkest days of grief.
It's difficult to see that when you're just trying to make it through each minute of each hour of every day.

But at some point, when you finally feel like you can breathe without sobbing, you're able to look around ...... and see how much of an impact the death of your loved one made.

Jim was the first person in our wide circle of friends and co-workers to die.  Some of our friends had lost a parent during those last few years ...... that's the stage of life which we were approaching in our mid-40's.
That was a fact that we hated, but to which we were slowly growing accustomed.
People expect to one day lose their parents.

No one expects a friend/co-worker to die suddenly, un-expectedly, shockingly ...... in their 40's.
No one expects their life to suddenly change overnight.
No one expects that last "care-free" weekend ...... to really be the last one like that ...... for a very, very long time.

Our friends will never be the same.
I find it difficult to put into words, but it's like our "innocence" was lost that Monday night/Tuesday morning.
For many of us, it was the first time we really lived the phrase, "when bad things happen to good people" (which is also the title of a very good book).
Our worlds, not just mine ...... not just my children's ...... were turned upside down, torn asunder.  Changed forever.

I would guess that my friends held their husbands tighter that night, while feeling guilty that they could.
I would guess that each of them felt some sort of shift in their relationship ...... in their home.
And I would guess that no one had a guide book about dealing with the sudden loss of a friend.
We were all living one breath at a time.
For a while.

Why am I writing this?
I guess, in some small way, I'm acknowledging my friends ...... and the change they each felt in their own life.
And ...... I'm reminding all of us on this path ...... that not only are we not alone here ...... but that we're not alone in having our lives changed with our loss.

No, our friends, co-workers and relatives may not always "get it" ...... but I don't think we always get their grief either.
Or at least I didn't.

And no, there's no comparison of losing my husband with losing a friend.
But someone was still lost.

And it wasn't just me who lost him.

Monday Moments ....

.... of thankfulness.

I had a wonderful, peaceful weekend at the lake.
It was just right.
I am so thankful that I have that quiet, peaceful place to escape to.
I am blessed and I am very aware of it.  I don't take it for granted.

I take very few of my blessings for granted.
Thankfully, I always knew that Jim was the biggest blessing in my life .... and I never, ever took that for granted.

The house is quiet tonight.
Son #3 was at a retreat all weekend with a church group that he loves to be with.
He was asleep when I got home from the lake, around 5:30.
It's now 10:00 p.m. and he's still asleep.
I'm assuming that means he did not sleep this weekend.
Which probably means he had a great time.
:)

Son #2 was here when I got home, with his girlfriend and her little sister.
He had to finish cleaning the dishes so that he could leave.
He was supposed to have them done before I got home.
Girlfriends.
Sigh.

He must've been pretty entertaining while he was unloading and then loading the dishwasher.
The two of them sat nearby and couldn't seem to take their eyes off of him.
Really.
Ah, young love.

I'm thankful for my children .... for each one of them.
Even during the difficult times.
Sometimes .... especially during the difficult times.

I remember reading an article by Ann Landers (Dear Abby's sister) in the paper many, many years ago.
Jim and I were married, but we did not have children .... yet.
It seems that Ms. Landers took a poll of her readers and asked them this question:
"If you were able to live your life over again, would you still decide to have your children?"
I was stunned to read the answer.
It was an overwhelming, "No."

The majority of the people (mostly women) who wrote in said that they wished they'd never had their children and would not do it all over again.
I think that may have been the first time I really thought about our assumption that we'd have children.
That article bothered me a lot and has stayed with me to this day.  I wondered if all of the moms I knew then would've answered the same way.
I wondered if my own mother would've answered the same way.
I wondered if I would answer the same way .... years down the road.

It was beyond my comprehension that a woman could have a child and then wish that he/she had never been born.
Of course, I was only 23 at the time so a lot of things were beyond my comprehension.
Thankfully.

I love my children.
I don't regret having them.
Any of them.

Now I'd be lying if I said I've never thought differently, because I have.
But that's just what it was .... a thought.
A thought during a tough time.
A thought ensnared by overwhelming emotion.
A thought.
One that came into my head.
And then left.

And I believe that any mother who denies ever having had one of those "thoughts", is wearing a very large, very heavy and sometimes very painful mask.

Raising a child in the way that he/she should go .... is the hardest thing I've ever done, aside from grieving Jim's death.
#1:  Jim's death
#2 - #7:  Raising our children.

But in raising them, they have also raised me.
In teaching them, they have taught me.
And as I have made mistakes, they, and God, have taught me humility.
And I am so thankful for that teaching.

We are not a perfect family.
We never were.
We never will be.
And that's a relief.

Because how incredibly boring would perfection be .... after a couple of days?

But we are family, and we're all ours.
And for that .... I am thankful.

Jim's quiver was/is full.
My heart is full.

Of way too many blessings to count.
And of 6 amazing blessings .... who count very much.

Count your blessings, Peeps.
And Happy Tuesday.
:)


"Like arrows in the hands of a warrior 
   are children born in one’s youth. 
 Blessed is the man 
   whose quiver is full of them. 
They will not be put to shame 
   when they contend with their opponents in court."
Psalms 127:4-5

Thank You ......

.... is not enough.

I am overwhelmed.

I was stunned today when I finally turned on my computer.
Because you were here.
You had been here.
And you continued to be here for the rest of the day .... and into the night.

I have received phone calls, texts, e-mails and comments.
Too many to count.

And out of the too many to count?
Only one that I "expected".
And it did not come through this blog.

Only one person seemed to not see the words, "three years", "prayer", "God and I", "therapist", "long time", "working on it", "healing", etc.
Only one person felt the need to point out to me how much "more healing" I really had in front of me, of more things than I guess even I know of.
Only one person seemed to think this was a brand new idea for me and something that just occurred to me overnight, I suppose.
Only one person seemed negative to me, while cloaking "truth" under the veil of "friendship".

I smile at the irony.
:)

Two years ago I would not have smiled.
But I know more now.
I know that we are all human.
We are all full of faults.
We all have things from our past that we are less than proud of.
And we are all .... mostly all ..... loving, encouraging and supportive beings.

And the more we reveal our true selves to each other, the more "reachable" we become.
I.
Am.
Not.
Perfect.

But then, I wouldn't choose to be, even if I could.
Because who among us can relate to a perfect human being?
And I very much want people to be able to relate with me, to find support and understanding in me.
Because that's what I've received.

I have received it from you.
I have received it from my wonderful, amazing, loving family.
I have received it from friends from my teenage years, my young adult years and my present life.

And most of all, I have received it from my Father.
He alone knows my heart.  Even the parts I don't yet know.
He loves me, encourages me and keeps on loving me.
In spite of .... me.

He has led me here.
He has walked this path with me.
He.
Has.
Healed.
Me.
In spite of .... me.

He continues to walk with me.
He continues to lead me.
He continues to heal me.
In all kinds of ways.

He continues to encourage me.

Just the way you have today.
In spite of .... me, and us, and our .... faults.

This was not an "over night" healing.
This has taken a lot of work.
A whole lotta work.  :)
But it's the best work I've ever done.
And the hardest.

I am not brave.
I am not courageous.
I am not stronger than anyone else.
I am not .... amazing.

All I am .... is tired of living a lie.
And tired of being controlled by something that is itself .... a lie.
And ready to tell everyone .... to keep moving forward and to leave this behind.
I've worked very, very hard to get to this point .... to be this tired .... to be this ready.
To be able to tell.

God's timing is amazing.
He alone knew how long this would take.
He alone knew when I'd be ready .... to be healed ..... and then, to tell my family, my friends, and you.
He alone has been working with, and in, me .... for a long time.
He alone led me to the people who could help Him, help me.
He alone was the reason that I was able to admit how incredibly faulted I am.

I am a work in progress.
And I choose .... to progress.

And.
That.
Is.
Something.

Good night, Peeps.
And happy ...... well, that's all.
Just ..... happy.
:)

In An Effort ....

..... to take my mind off of myself and off of my current struggle with God (just being honest) ....
I am posting D2's latest You Tube video.

But before I do I want to say thank you .... again, to all of you.  Thank you for the funny comment, Angela and thank you especially for coming out of lurkdom to make me smile.  It worked.  And I appreciate it.  :)

And thanks to the rest of you.  I very much needed to read your love and encouragement.  And Vicki, I hope your words come true.

To Anon #5, thank you so very much for telling me about you .... and especially about your love.  You do indeed give me hope.  :)

OK ..... here's the latest video.
Enjoy!



And, just to add a bit more to your day .... and to give you something more to read, even if you don't really need it .... here are the blog sites of D2 and D3.
I think they're fabulous.
And I don't think that's just because I'm their Mom and #1 fan.

Here's D2's:
http://adventuresoftheordinarylife.blogspot.com/

And here's D3's:
http://mildlyhumorousanecdotes.blogspot.com/
I'm sure you'll love her post from May 8th.  :)

And to catch you up on the 6, briefly:
D1 -- still in Baltimore, planning on moving to NYC in the fall.
I miss her.  A lot. (And am proud of her.)

D2 -- living down in the city at a foster care home for children.  It's hard but she's loving it.
I'm proud of her. (And I miss her.  A lot.)

D3 -- is now in D.C. attending a graduate program at Gallaudet University.  She will reside there for the next 3 summers and take classes on line at home while she teaches during the falls and springs.
I'm proud of her (and I miss her, too.  A lot.).

S1 -- is attending summer school up north in Texas.
And yes, I'm proud of him and I miss him. A lot.
And maybe he could call .... once in a while.

S2 -- is still working part time and working out weekly with the other recruits in our area.  He's still set to leave for boot camp in January, but is hoping that it's sooner.
Oh ... and he's getting ready to get to work on many over-due thank you notes.  Lucky guy.
I'm very proud of him.  But not missing him .... yet.  And not letting myself go there .... yet.

S3 -- is in Chicago for 2 weeks, attending a medical program for students interested in going into med school.  He's loving it, for which I'm happy and relieved.
I miss him.  A lot.  And am proud of him.

And I love all of them.  A whole lot lotter than a lot.
T.A.N.W.

There you go.
Thanks for helping me keep my mind off of my life and away from the abyss.
The steroids are definitely kicking in.  My joints are feeling better and better.
And I'm resting, unwillingly, a lot.
Oh .... and I hopefully won't cry at this ... again, but I had to decide to give Jack back.  I found out that I just can't physically keep up with 2 cats, or at least not with a kitten.  I've cried all day about it, but know it's the right decision.
On a high note .... which I'd always rather leave you on ..... S#2 told a good friend about it and she claimed him.  And I'm thankful and very happy.  She'll give him lots of love and we'll get to see him when she brings him over!!

OK, it's time for bed.
Yes, I feel like a 5 year old.
A 5 year old who has to take a nap during the day and can't sleep (I've never been able to nap well.  I need help).
But at least I went to bed for an hour this afternoon.
And stayed there for the whole hour.
:-p

Night, Peeps.
And thank you .... again.
:)

Monday Moments ....

.... to be thankful.
In spite of ...... well, just in spite of.
And sometimes ..... because of ..... the very same things.

#51.  Sitting cozily on my bed on a rainy morning with my daughter.
#52.  Sharing laughter with my youngest.
#53.  Listening to the sounds in my "quiet" home:  the steady ticking of a clock, the sound of rain as it hits my roof, the hum of the dryer .... and the contentment I feel.
#54.  Reading the comment of a complete widowed stranger .... who connects with my words ... and with my heart.
#437.  The slight lifting of a sadness that has clung to me for several days.  The knowledge of a great life, with Jim and now, after him ...... because of him.  Being grateful for him, even in my sadness, for the important dates this past week .... and in the missing of him.
#438.  For Son #1 and the blessing of being his mom for 21 years.
#439.  A day to remember Jim and the memories of our wedding day.  And that day getting to watch Son #2 graduate.
#440.  Time spent with Jim's brother and his family and with my children.  Their support of Son #2 and of me.  And for friends who are really more family than friends.
#441.  The Tennis Channel and the French Open!  And being able to unload my feelings, concerns, and grief to a friend who "gets it" .... in more ways than one.  And for Memorial Day ..... a day to remember loved ones, to spend time just hanging around the house with my guys ..... and with friends.  A day to cherish our memories and to be happy to have them ..... and the knowledge that I'd do it all over again, even knowing how it would end.

Peace, Peeps ..... and Happy Memorial Day.
:)

Monday Moments ....

.... of thankfulness.

I am home.

Son #2 picked me up at the airport.
And surprised me with roses and a card when I got home.
I unpacked my suitcase.
I got a call from Daughter #3 and a message from Daughter #1.
Plus some FB messages.
I love my kids.

But then .... you knew that.

At 4:00 p.m. I laid down on my bed .....
and woke up at 8:00 p.m.

I wandered into the family room.
Son #3 was sitting in there.
I asked him how Prom was.
I asked him if he had fun.
He wasn't very talkative ...... but he had fun.

I went back to bed.
And got up, reluctantly, at 9:30 this morning.

I think that all of the Alaskan fresh air stunned my body into a coma.
I could still use a nap.

But .... rather than sleep .... I have packed ..... again.
My mom and I are leaving for a cruise on Saturday.
Today was the first time I've really given that trip much thought .... without feeling like a panic attack was approaching.
I stood in my closet and put outfits together.
I put everything in my suitcase and weighed it .... 40 pounds.  Yes!
And that, my friends, is with one suitcase packed inside of another.
Yes, I'm getting to be a pro.
We shall see what very important item(s) I have forgotten.

So today I'm thankful for a great week with my brother.
Among other things:

402.  The cool, dry air of Alaska.
403.  The long, bright days and nights of Alaska.
404.  Sharing memories with my brother.
405.  Laughing almost non-stop with my brother.
406.  A long, hard sleep on the airplane.
407.  Roses and a card from Son #2.  A card that said oh so much.
409.  My children.
410.  Jim

What are you thankful for?

Happy Monday, Peeps.
:)

Monday Moments ....

.... of gratitude.

First off .... the "blue" has faded.  As it does.
Much more quickly now (mostly).
Thankfully.

I am grateful for the drop in temperatures (however brief) that we've had, and the lovely, lovely mornings we've had to play tennis.

I'm also grateful for this:

This tree (no, I have no idea what it is .... remember?  My thumb is black, not green) is just outside of our side door (we also have one in the backyard).  It blooms once a year.  It blooms very quickly and the blooms die very quickly.  Most people around here complain about them, because all of those tiny buds fall and cover everything.  They get into pools and clog the drains and whatever else can get clogged in pool.  They can be seen as quite a pain.
But the aroma ..... oh.  my.  goodness.
I love, LOVE the aroma of these blossoms.  I will stand outside and just inhale for several minutes.  I try to really take advantage of being able to take in their scent ..... because they are quickly gone.  And then I keep the memory of how wonderful this tree smelled ..... until next year, when I can inhale the scent again.
Kind of like remembering Jim.
Here, leaving a path of great things to remember.
And quickly gone.

One of the other things that I am most grateful for is this ......

Son #2 is now a Marine.
Ooh rah!
It's official.
He swore before an officer, before us, before the other families in the room .... and before God, that he will defend this country .... no matter what.
I survived.
And I managed to not embarrass him by crying.  Not there, anyway.
Had Jim been there ..... he would've bawled like a baby.
Seriously.
And would've been so, so proud.

I think he still is.

So those are just a few of the many moments this past week that I've been grateful.
What about you?
What are you grateful for?

Happy Monday, Peeps.
: )


The Swearing In .... from J. Eggers on Vimeo.

Not much ....

.... to write about.
I didn't cry yesterday.
Yay for that.
Haven't cried yet today.
Double yay.

Just thought I'd pop in and share this picture I saw on line today .... and now I can't remember where.
But I liked it.
And am thankful for it.
In a painful kind of way.

#13.  The afternoon sunlight shining through my kitchen window, through the stained glass piece that my very dear friend made for me .... and seeing all of the colors diffuse into even more shimmering colors.
#14.  Having time to just "be" in my home.
#15.  The sun pouring through the trees and making dappled shadows on the tennis court.
#16.  Connecting with someone through my writing.
#17.  Seeing/learning something brand new in a Bible verse -- especially one I thought I already knew.
#19.  Driving down the very dark, very quiet streets of my community in the early morning hours.
#20.  Turning onto the "dirt road" on the way to my in-laws' farm ..... and how very excited the kids got.
         Every.  Single.  Time.

Thanks again, Peeps.
And Happy Monday/Tuesday.
:)

Happy Birthday! And Happy Thanksgiving

                        Daughter #1's first birthday:

                                   And her 24th:

                 Our yearly Thanksgiving traditions --- watching the Macy's Parade:

                    And cooking our brains out:





  These are the best pies in the world -- my mom made them.       Chocolate:
                       Pumpkin --- note the little leaves on top (and please comment about them.  The   woman is extremely pleased with her leaves).
           And one of my favorites, cherry:
          

           Can life get any better than pie and an empty glass of red wine?  I think not.

     So the food has been eaten --- well, maybe less then half of it was eaten.  My family is not known for eating large quantities of food.  In fact, we're more known for eating ridiculously small amounts of food, but that is for another post on another day.

Anyway, the leftovers have been stored and the dishes washed and put away.  The girls did the cooking, the boys did the cleaning.  That was something that Jim always did.  Every family holiday he'd grab his brothers and his sons and they'd do the dishes.  He'd also do the dishes at friends' houses after we'd have get-togethers.  Which reminds me that I wanted to thank my friend RS for cleaning up the other night.  He made me think of Jim .... and I smiled.

     So we are stuffed.  Mom and D. are heading home.  We have friends coming over tonight to watch the UT-A&M game (cuz we're neutral territory).

     And I am thankful.  

Don't get me wrong ..... I'm incredibly sad, too.  I miss him SO much that it makes me cry to even type those words.  There shouldn't be a huge hole in my heart, or in my children's.  There shouldn't be a huge hole in our home.  

But there is.

And we continue to live.  With holes.  And with hope.

I am thankful for my God and His grace.  And His presence and comfort.  

I am thankful for my children, who each remind me of their wonderful father.

I am thankful for my family -- all of them, the ones who are related to me by blood and the ones who are related to me through love -- Jim's family.

I am thankful that my Mom and D moved down here to be close for help and support and love.

I am thankful for my friends.  I would not be here if not for so very many of them.

I am thankful for Jim and the time we had together.  

I am thankful for his love for me that will last a lifetime.

I am thankful for his provision for our family.

I am thankful for our health.

I am thankful for my church.

I am thankful for my job.

I am thankful that I have tennis.

I am thankful, most days, that I am here.

And I am thankful that so many people care about me and support me and are there for me... and here for me.

Oh, and most of all .... I am SO thankful that Daughter #3 brought her dog, Miley, with her to visit because it made me realize that I in no way whatsoever want a second dog.

Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all a good night.

Thank you .... yet again.

     So .... it's been very interesting to see the comments regarding friends. I guess we can all define "friend" in different ways. But I think we need to be careful when we're so stringent with our definition that we limit our blessings.

     I have many friends. Actually, too many to count. They are not acquaintances, they are not just people I wave to once in a while, they are true friends.

     My definition of a friend is someone I care about- a lot (so of course it's someone one I know). A friend is someone on whom I can call --- for anything -- and know that this person will help me, willingly and without keeping an account of how many times I've asked.

A friend is someone for whom I would do the same. A friend is someone I support and encourage and who does the same --- no matter how far apart we are, how many times a month we talk with each other, how much we share -- or don't share -- our feelings.

No. Matter.

     I have friends whom I don't get to see very often, but when we do see each other we pick right up. And if I ever needed anything, I could call these friends and they'd be there for me. They don't "require" huge investments of my time, deeds or stated feelings. They are my friends because we care about each other --- even with my shortcomings and lack of ability to emote unselfishly. They like me because I'm me.

     And now I need to thank many of these friends. Because they've done some great things for me lately.

     I had 2 wonderful friends go with me to visit Son #2, because they knew it would be a difficult weekend and wanted to be there for me.

     

     I had several friends come to my house after Ike hit and they trimmed my tree, removed it from the hole, patched the hole in my roof, raked my yard, cut up all of the huge branches all over my yard, stacked the new logs on my corner, bagged up every thing that had fallen ..... and put the bags on my corner. It was a lot of work on a Sunday afternoon. And my yard was full of people. People who knew I had a mess and that I was upset and who wanted to help. I didn't ask a single one of them to come ..... but they did.

     I have a friend who had a generator and so made coffee for me and my mom and brought it to us in the mornings.

     I had a friend come and rescue us in the middle of the storm Saturday morning and take my mom, my son and me to his house where we could enjoy light and the news with their generator.

  

     I had friends invite me over just so that I could leave the house and be distracted.

     I had friends who froze water (in what seemed to be all of their available containers (they had power) ) and brought it to me daily. She also made me chocolate chip muffins. And took some of my freezer stuff so that I wouldn't lose everything.

     I have friends from all over the country who called to check in on me and see if we were OK or if we needed anything. They also volunteered to let us stay with them.

     I have a friend who volunteered to bring me a generator --- from Oklahoma.

     I have friends who bought food, batteries, water, ice, coffee, etc. for me.

     I have friends who came over to help me celebrate Son #3's birthday when he was depressed that his dad wasn't here.

     I have friends who celebrated (and still do) with me when the power came back on.

     I could go on and on. I'm sure I'm leaving out hundreds of deeds and people.

I don't know what your many definitions of "friend" are. All I know is that I have more than one person should have.

And that God has blessed me abundantly with them.

And that I need them --- He knew I would need them --- and I hope that I can give back to them even a quarter of what they've given to me.

     Here are some pictures of a few of my friends (if I had carried my camera around more over the years I would have hundreds of these):